Formula 1, but make it ✨Bollywood✨

Among all forms of entertainment, two have a more significant amount of fans worldwide: movies and sports. As a Formula 1 fan and movie lover, it is only fitting that I bring together both of these worlds and create hypothetical situations which might be a possibility in another universe! A mix of Bollywood characters and celebrities matched with the 2023 grid, along with (sometimes brief) explanations about the choice. There are some controversial choices, but most are mainly for humour. Not the first one; that’s what led to this article in the first place. 

You cannot convince me that Aditya Kashyap is not Charles Leclerc-coded. It pains me to say this, but first half-Aditya Kashyap 🫱🏻‍🫲🏻 Charles in a Ferrari now. Both are so sweet to everyone despite life throwing shit at them left, right, and centre. They will do ANYTHING to prove themselves, for themselves. For this reason, and this alone, I will fight till my last breath for these two jigar ka tukdas.

Rohit loves his cars and thrills. Everyone knows this if they’ve ever watched any movie he’s directed or Khatron Ke Khiladi. If his style were to be described in three words, it would be passion, aggression, and dominance. Hence, Rohit Shetty 🫱🏻‍🫲🏻Red Bull Racing. If Rohit started an F1 team, he would definitely have Max Verstappen as his first driver. Although it might be argued that he might choose *someone else* since he loves crashing cars too, Rohit most definitely loves winning more than anything so… 

Speaking of Rohit Shetty, one of my favourite directorial of his would have to be Dilwale. I mean, who would pass on an SRK-Kajol movie that has amazing cars? Veer’s cool youngster vibe makes him 100% Lando Norris (in his “younger sibling” era). They have immense talent, but the funny side seems to take the spotlight more often than not. On the other hand, Veer’s elder brother, Raj/Kaali is more old school and commands power wherever he goes, just like Lewis Hamilton. SRK is loved by most; Lewis is loved by most—they are literally perfect! Plus, SRK and Lewis are super proud of what Varun Dhawan and Lando have done with their respective careers. #wholesomesiblingmoment

Now, the honourable mention. Meera is so badass; I love her! But her story with Kaali/Raj reminds me of the Brocedes era way too much. Given that Raj/Kaali is Lewis, it is only fitting that Meera is Nico Rosberg. Am I a child of divorce? Yes, because Brocedes was literally my childhood, and that should have been a sign for me to talk to someone…

What do Carlos Sainz and Hrithik Roshan in Bang Bang! have in common? Swag, of course! And confusion. Quite a bit of confusion behind those eyes, honestly. Between Rajveer’s mastermind brain and Carlos’ hair routine, only someone like Harleen and Ferrari strategists can make them do questionable stuff. But hey, as people say, all’s well that ends well. Right?

This is where the choice gets slightly controversial. Not the driver, but more so the movie. There’s just something (read: his OCD) about Gaurav that makes him a perfectionist. Who else is like that? George William Russell. Both of them are so proper that it can be a bit annoying. However, just like a coin has two sides, Gaurav’s doppelganger, Rishi is a risky person in the same way George is on track sometimes. The duality of both these people would have been the ultimate conversation (and friendship) starter in an alternate universe where they co-existed.

If there was a competition between Ranbir Kapoor and Pierre Gasly on who gives off the “Bachna Ae Haseeno” vibe more, Pierre would win by only one point: I’d happily let him break my heart. Also, Pierre gives off more Ranbir vibes than Ranbir himself! While Ranbir doesn’t have an official Instagram, he sure would be gathering gossip and liking everyone’s posts through his finsta, just like Pierre does.

Rajpal Yadav and Yuki Tsunoda, because they are short kings who have amazing comic timing, but also you do not want them to be mad at you. If they were in the same friend circle as you, be grateful because there would never be a day when you don’t have great food for all meals!

Ranveer and Quirky were always synonymous, but now, Ranveer is also synonymous with the Alfa Romeo boys. Like Zhou Guanyu, he loves fashion (side note: who do you think steals more from the other’s closet: Ranveer or Deepika?) and is a style ICON! So Zhou is the only best choice, right? WRONG!!! Valtteri Bottas and Ranveer Singh have more in common than meets the eye. One loves his mullet; the other loves his crazy hairstyle. One loves skinny-dipping, the other (*cough* Befikre *cough*) does too. One loves his partner so much that she was the only other non-F1 athlete he could remember; the other loves his partner so much that he never lets an opportunity pass to praise her achievement as his own! That concludes my essay on why Ranveer Singh should have been in the Alfa Romeo garage during Monaco instead of Kareena Kapoor Khan…

It’s been a while since anyone has heard about this dude, but that’s okay, his personality lives on! Back to the topic at hand, though, Imran Khan is so Alex Albon-coded that the funny-serious gene even translated to many of his movie characters. Either way, both Imran and Alex do the best they can and persevere through any situation they are put in, making them the ultimate comfort person.

And last but not least—

There’s no explanation for this one. Uday Shetty is Guenther Steiner. Actually, there’s only one explanation. Iconic lines. 👍🏻

That’s my list! There are quite a few people missing, like Daniel Ricciardo and Sebastian Vettel. Well, what can I say? Bollywood doesn’t have a personality that could ever be on the same level as them, at least for me. If you have any ideas, then comment away! (Also because I’m nosy and want to know who would fit these two former teammates 👀).